4 month old baby Lilu

Wow, before we knew it, Lulu has reached the 4 months milestone. She even surprised us by rolling over. She has doubled her birth weight and is overall ok, health wise. Her 5th month has not been a smooth sail for me, as I am a first time mom, but both Lulu and I are learning to interact with ourselves and the world around us from a growing baby and a mother's point of view.

Issues And solutions to them:

1. Once she rolls over, she wants to be mobile, but that is hard for her and she gets frustrated. Also, she is unable to roll back to her back, so she ends up crying.

For this, we just put her on her back after she struggles for a while. We use pillows to prevent her from rolling in her sleep.

2. She wants company all the time.

We try to always be around her, but if that is not possible, I give her a new toy or switch on the fan, or move a curtain. The novelty of the thing, will keep her distracted for a few minutes.

3. She needs to be occupied all the time.

I take her out to the play area, show her tress, come home, play with her, show her books, give her toys, they need constant exposure to people, sounds and new places.

4. She feeds very often and gets distracted.

Who doesn't hate the countless two minute feed. But some babies can't help looking at new things, so the best solution is to fine a quiet, place with less sounds Also, feeding can sometimes be postponed if you think she is full by distracting her. But babies need more milk around this time as their bodyweight and activities increase.

5. She doesn't sleep when we want her to.

Lulu doesn't too but I noticed that an established routine helps immensely. Put her to sleep briefly for 30 mins in the evening and night and one one nap for 2-3 hours apart from the 10-11 hour sleep and we are good to go. She usually falls asleep after feeding but even while playing she sometimes gets tired.

6. I am tired all the time.

Taking care of self is as important as taking care of the baby. If you fall sick, the baby suffers too as you can't spend that quality time together. Try to get enough sleep. Have you vitamin  pills regularly and don't accept responsibility, you can't handle. It takes time to nurture a baby and get back to being normal again.

7. I am struggling with things

Being a mother might not come naturally to everyone. Just believe in yourself. Think that with much lesser exposure, our moms and their Moms successfully parented us and hence, so can we. There are fixes for every problem. Also, pray and meditate daily. It will help your overall well-being.

Hoping Lulu's journey through life is an amazing one. It never ceases to amaze me to see firsthand the effect of love and happiness on a small baby. We are born , we live and we will die with love around us. Tough, tender, crazy, lazy, suppressed, unexpressed or hazy but still there.

And it is our duty to the world to create as much or maybe more love than we absorb.

All the best to all of us, with lots of Love. :)

The Daily Tea Ritual

Parenting a new born is hard work. Even though my Mom was helping me, indeed doing most of the work for me, our mornings and nights passed by in a haze of pacifying, singing rythmes,changing diapers and carrying L around to get her to sleep.

Once she was asleep however, a sense of emptiness settles into me and I stare blankly at the switched off TV not knowing what to do. Time passes until L wakes up again. That was when I decided that I should divide my afternoons and evenings into time periods - before Tea and after Tea.

Before Tea, I mentally prepare myself to do a few tasks I find cumbersome, like filling out paperwork for her joint bank account or checking my office mail. I do these things happily as I know I will have a tea break soon. And when tea time arrives, whenever L is sleeping in the afternoon, I head into the kitchen and prepare tea for myself.

Only now do I understand why the tea ceremony in Japan is such a big deal. The slow release of the days pressure when the movements of the next 15 minutes or so are pre-planned and executed in a style which relieves you of the weight of the days work and replaces in its place, a sense of harmony and serenity is nothing short of a daily celebration of life.

It has become a personal ritual of sorts. Little water, extra tea leaves, a dash of cardamom, milk and sugar. I never change the quantity of the ingredients and once it is ready, I just hurriedly clean up and savor every bit of the tea (Nigella Lawson tasting her elaborate creation-like moment). I see the sun casting shadows on the walls of the house and once my tea is done, the day slips into the after tea period.

After tea period is mostly reading up of things, going to the shop, and playing with L when she gets up. Once we have a list of To-Do's some of it is surely possible. So put on your planning hat and plan your little moments of happiness. The big ones like baby smiling at you and playing will happen too, but the small ones will keep you going until they do.

2 month old baby girl, Lilu

Lilu, our beautiful bundle of joy, was born on October 1st, 2015. What was to be a planned c-section became am emergency one because my water had broken early and since the umbilical cord was around her neck, the doctor didn't want to take a risk.

 
She stepped into our world crying loudly, but awake as she scanned our faces when she saw us for the first time. The first two days saw her crying a lot, for milk, for sleep for everything and we were a happy lot when we reached my mom's house, where Lilu and I were to spend three months, as is the custom.

She adjusted well to the brightly lit house and at 2 months, she has just begun interacting with the world around her.

These are a few things which Lilu does in her 3rd month:

     - Plays for half an hour after her feed with her 7-8 toys, loves staring at curtains, at glass surfaces, fans and balloons which we had put up for her naming ceremony.

     - Feeds for every 2-3-4 hours. But feeds only once in the night. Feeds more in the mornings and evenings and lesser I'm the afternoon and night.

 -   Feeds noisily. Sometimes frantically. And plays a bit which feeding. Feeding time is 20-25 minutes. It was longer earlier.

 -   After playing, she wants to be carried all the time. Else she will get fussy and cry. She loves it if my mom carries her.

 -   She spits up a bit after drinking but is not affected in any way because of it.

 -   She has started baby talking. She will say something with syllabi like 'aa', 'nga' and 'ame' with a lot of expressions and smiles.she has become a chatty baby.

 -  If I eat something which does not agree with her, she has tummy gas and cries a lot. We give her neopeptine for the pain and I have garlic and ginger, which reduces the gassiness of the food

-  Her favorite toy is the duck, which she got and she currently shares a love hate relationship with her pink elephant.

-  She loves to hear people sing. She keeps asking for more. Her Favorite one now is 'Doe a deer'.

It's one am and I am waiting for her to sleep. She is an active and happy baby and I am thrilled to have experienced the miracle of giving birth to such a beautiful bundle of joy. I am a different person now. Still a nervous parent but hoping that I can handle her well and bring her up to be an intelligent and a good person.

Some Observations I have as a parent of a two month old baby:

-   Environment matters, her room and the people around her have to be clean and without any extra perfumes. The room needs to be simple with minimum things but very clean.

-   Babies are happy when they are taken out, but its better to wait a bit before doing so and ensure that the area is less crowded. Also its better for everyone if they are fed first and then taken out. My city had faced an unprecedented amount of rains and flooding so she was cooped up at home.

-   Babies need to be given a bath or kept clean. Everyday atleast 1 hour should be devoted to massaging them, give them a bath or sponging them with hot water and cutting their nails. They are happier and sleep better after the bath and massage.

-   The more the people around her, the better. She is very happy when my sister visits and the more the people caring for her, the better her overall health is. Don't hide your baby. Keep them open to love and care.

-   Whenever I have high protein food like beans and meat, she gets stomach pain (i.e she cries, drawing up her legs.). To avoid this, I have noticed that a tea made of cumin, ginger, garlic and fenugreek helps a lot. I just boil them in water and have it. Also garlic stir fired in oil and eaten helps prevent the pain she gets.

My two cents to the new parents:

-  Its hard to care for a baby. The baby feels pain, hunger, anger, happiness and sadness but might not be able to communicate it properly. Do not panic if the baby cries. Try finding out why. It's ok to be clueless, but learn to understand what has changed for the baby which is making her/him uncomfortable. It might be the diaper, it might be your food intake or maybe the baby is sleepy or too overwhelmed.

-   If your baby cries a lot and the cry is a high pitched, continuous scream, hold the in your arms. Try to put the baby on the tummy. Calm yourself and the people around you. It will subside soon. Something you ate is probably affecting her. or something is biting her. There is always a reason.Take her to the doc, if it doesn't stop though.

-  Take care of yourself too. Its important for you to be happy and healthy. Don't strain yourself. meditation helps. Just be grateful for all the good things in your life and maintain that thought frequency throughout the day. Eat healthy too. The healthier every bite you eat is, the better. But, if you can't resist a treat, go for it.

-  Write down all your questions, and ask the doctor for answer when you go for the check up. The doctors are happy to answer and you will be happy to get the questions answered.